Strange behaviors
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In the previous 2 Minute Tip, I wrote about eight biases that get in the way of communication. The one I see most often is Projection Bias, projecting our own thoughts, feelings, and preferences onto others, assuming they see the world as we do.
I’ve also heard this referred to as the False Consensus Effect: The assumption that others think and act in the same way that we do. It leads people to overestimate the extent to which their own opinions, beliefs, preferences, values, and habits are normal and typical of others.
In the workplace, this leads to misinterpreting others' intentions, overestimating shared knowledge, using jargon and acronyms others don’t know, ignoring perspectives, advocating for a position because of your assumptions, misjudging reactions or responses, sending a joke that’s funny to you but offensive to others, and creating unrealistic expectations, such as assigning a task that you’re good at to a colleague and expecting them to complete it quickly and easily.
A way to cut through this is to learn about the other personality types, such as with the DiSC Model.
Ever wondered “what a jerk” when someone:
Is impatient or quick to interrupt others during conversations
Is blunt or direct to the point of being harsh
Has a tendency to take charge without seeking input or collaboration
Overemphasis results, sometimes at the expense of relationships
Is impatient with perceived inefficiency or indecisiveness of others
Comes across as demanding or authoritative?
In the language of DiSC, these are your “D” or dominant style colleagues, and they aren’t necessarily trying to be rude, they may just be prioritizing results. Often, these people are acting out of the human needs of influence, progress, authority, control, avoiding weakness, autonomy, challenge, or preservation of dignity. This isn’t to excuse bad behavior, but a call to understand differences.
How about someone with:
Excessive talking and difficulty staying on topic
Overpromising or exaggerating to create excitement
A tendency to prioritize popularity and social connections over task completion
Disorganization and lack of follow-through on commitments
Difficulty handling criticism or negative feedback
Can be seen as impulsive or overly optimistic
These are your “i” or Influence style colleagues, who may act this way out of a need for recognition, stimulation, being “in,” expression, to be heard, play social contact, optimism, and positivity.
We all know people who:
Avoid conflict or difficult conversations
Have difficulty saying "no" or asserting their own needs
Resist change or new ideas
Are overly accommodating or passive
Have a tendency to hold onto grudges or past hurts
Can be perceived as indecisive or slow to act.
These “S” or Steady style colleagues, who may act this way out of a need for harmony, stability, harm avoidance, familiarity, reassurance, to please, nurturance, and intimacy.
And then there are our detail-oriented colleagues who:
Overemphasize details maybe to the point of perfectionism
Are rigid, reluctantly deviating from established procedures
Have difficulty delegating tasks because they don’t trust others' work
Overanalyze situations and overthink decisions
Fear making mistakes or being wrong
Can be seen as overly critical or nitpicky
Need all the information before sharing their opinions.
These are your “C” or Conscientious style colleagues, and they likely act this way because they have the need for accuracy, competence and credibility, adherence to standards, understanding, personal space, precision, blamelessness, and predictability.
Point is, when you understand why people are the way they are, you can lower your own frustrations with them and choose better responses.
Maybe it’s not them that’s so strange. Maybe it’s Projection Bias.
