Three responses to conflict

When it comes to responding to conflict, there’s a “Goldilocks Zone.” Being assertive is not too passive and not too aggressive.

Passive/submissive

• I give in to others.

• My needs are less important.

• My pride is hurt.

Assertive

• I stand up for myself

• Everyone’s needs count.

• No one’s pride is hurt.

Aggressive/violent

• I attack others

• My needs are more important

• Their pride is hurt

According to psychologist Jeremy Shapiro, when two people’s needs are in conflict, no solution can be adequate unless both sets of needs are addressed.

He also says that people who have problems with aggression are usually afraid of being perceived as weak.