Place a bookmark

Here’s a useful communications strategy called “bookmarking” for talking when the stakes are high, from Crucial Conversations.

It’s simple.

After you’ve established the real purpose of the conversation, the other person may try to change the subject.

“You had agreed to get me the report today.”

“Well, the finance team never gave me the numbers I needed. I swear…How are we supposed to get anything done around here if they can’t even answer their damn emails?”

“Well, did you follow up, or walk over to their office?”

“Hey, who died and left you in charge?”

“I’m not trying to criticize you. I just need the report.”

“I know, it’s just that this place is so dysfunctional…”

At this point, you have a choice to make. Your colleague wants to deflect by changing the subject, but you still need them to get you the report.

Place a bookmark to keep them in conversation, but not let them off the hook.

Option 1: Bookmark the side issue to return to later, and refocus the conversation back to the original issue:

“Yea, I know. I deal with it every day, but I still need the report today. Can we talk about the dysfunction at another time and refocus on what needs to be done for you to get me the report today?”

Option 2: Bookmark the current issue so they know you want to return to it after discussing the side issue:

“Wow, I can tell this is frustrating. Let’s talk about that and we’ll return to the report when we’re done.”

When you place a bookmark, you make can keep them in conversation by showing you care while challenging directly.