Listening is not agreeing

Happy Birthday, America. Here’s my wish as we celebrate our freedom.

I want us to remember that listening isn’t agreeing.

Many people these days seem to think that if they listen to someone else’s point of view, it signals that they agree.

But, what we forget is that all people share a real human need to be heard and understood.

It’s on Maslow’s hierarchy.

When you fill this need to be heard and understood, you do something incredible.

You actually open up the other person to hearing your point of view.

Simply by saying, "Tell me more," "That's interesting," or "Help me understand" you’re filling a real human need, which creates positive emotions.

And they’ll be in a better place to hear your “no” or “I disagree.”

When we reflexively shut down someone’s idea (even if they’re wrong), we’re denying their need for expression and to be understood.

When we listen without agreeing, the other person is forced to articulate their thoughts clearly, which can help lead them to their own new insights.

Listening can actually reduce the need for you to say anything at all.