Keep your head when all about you are losing theirs

How does that Rudyard Kipling poem “If” start?

"If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you..."

But how?

My answer is to be the aware observer, not just of others actions, but of my own reactions to their actions.

The more we understand human nature and psychology, the more perspective we gain in a situation, helping us rise above.

Take stress, for example. If you can observe yourself and others as they react, with you taking on the role of alert witness, rather than getting caught up in the situation yourself, you’ll have a better chance of choosing your response intentionally.

General adaptation syndrome (GAS) is the three-stage process that describes the physiological changes your body goes through when under stress.

When we encounter a stressor, we go through an alarm phase. The sympathetic nervous system is activated, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. This is the fight or flight response, where people are acting unconsciously and may go to silence or violence.

Then, we enter a resistance phase where cortisol levels aren’t overwhelming, but remain elevated to help maintain high energy levels to cope with the situation. Signs include irritability, frustration, and poor concentration. Since humans co-regulate our emotions, it’s all too easy to get swept up yourself.

Finally, we enter an exhaustion phase where we can no longer maintain high levels of performance. At work, this means burnout: emotional detachment, cynicism, and ineffectiveness. Signs include fatigue, burnout, depression, anxiety, and decreased stress tolerance.

Observe, observe, observe. Like a detective or reporter.

Become a student of humanity and the individuals you work with, and soon you’ll trust yourself when all others doubt you, and make allowance for their doubting too.