You "think" or "feel" that

Saying “I feel” when you mean “I think” can make you be and appear less confident.

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg tells us that “a common confusion generated by the English language is our use of the word feel without actually expressing a feeling.”

Feelings are emotions, but thoughts are ideas. They’re related but distinct, and when we confuse them, we confuse ourselves and others.

“I feel that I didn’t get a fair deal” is actually a thought, not a feeling.

“I feel upset that I couldn't get a better deal” is a feeling.

Here’s a way to know the difference. In English, it’s actually not necessary to say “feel” when expressing emotion. “I’m feeling irritated,” can be said more directly as “I’m irritated.”

When we don’t make clear distinctions between what we think and how we feel we reveal more than we may intend. 

For example, when I say “I feel unimportant to the team” rather than “I feel discouraged that they’re not listening to my ideas.” I am revealing how I think others are evaluating me. 

When I say “I feel misunderstood” the word misunderstood isn’t how I’m feeling, but my assumption of what the other person thinks of me.

Further, speaking vaguely about emotions can make us seem uncertain about ourselves.  

Developing a rich vocabulary of feelings can help us more confidently express ourselves, and also help others connect with what makes us all human.

If you say “I feel good about that,” the word “good” could mean happy, excited, relieved, or any number of emotions. Vague words like “good” or “bad” prevent the listener from connecting with what you’re really feeling and experiencing. 

You can foster a greater connection (with yourself and others) by saying, I feel moved, optimistic, stimulated, hopeful, or encouraged, etc. -- words that more accurately reveal your connection to yourself.

The words we chose can make us feel more confident, while influencing others to see us as confident as well.