The fear we all share

Psychologists tell us there are 5 universal fears that all human’s share (extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation, and ego-death).

One of these fears lurks in every work interaction, in every team member of every organization.

Before reading on, can you guess which one it is?

Humans are tribal. We evolved to rely on our group for our individual survival. 

When someone doesn’t feel like they belong, that’s when they can go haywire and do dangerous things. When we do feel like we belong, we contribute. 

Believe it or not, even high powered execs have a deep need to feel like they belong to the groups they lead. Even the dominant jerks need to reinforce their own perceived need to belong. 

The fear of not belonging is primal and powerful. Knowing this can make you a better communicator, because you know that, at some level, it’s part of every interaction. 

The antidote to this universal fear is to feel like we belong. 

One thing you can do to foster this sense of belonging (both in your own mind and with others around you) is to replace your use of the word “I” with the word “we.” 

Try it today, in every email, conversation, and meeting you have. Observe the effect on you and those around you.