Soliciting group feedback, part 2

In yesterday’s Daily Tip, we learned how to prepare for a meeting to solicit honest feedback from a group. Today’s tip will discuss how to select participants, set expectations, and facilitate a conversation where people can openly, honestly share with you what you need to know to help you make the most informed decision you can.

Who do you want in your wagon?

By calling a meeting to ask for your team’s help with a problem, you decide what to talk about and how to structure the conversation, but who you invite will determine the quality of the feedback, advice, and perspectives you get.

If you’re a pioneer, preparing to lead a horse-drawn wagon train across a young, unknown America, who do you want in your wagon?

No one person in your organization or on your team has all the answers, and you probably know people’s general views, so don’t just invite the usual people. Ask attendees if they know of any others who may be potentially helpful. By seeking diversity of backgrounds and experiences, you will be able to see the problem from more angles.

Who has a front row seat to the problem? Who is affected by it? Rather than looking for people with the most experience, invite people with the best vantage points to the problem. Maybe your customers should be represented?

Keep the size manageable, but err on the side of inclusion. If someone is likely to leave the meeting without a takeaway that directly impacts their work or lives, their time is probably better spent working on something else.

Sending the invitation

Once you have the group defined, send your invitation and Issue Preparation Document with enough advance notice for participants to review and prepare.

Make it clear you want them to have read everything well in advance, so they can focus on helping you with the decision. Be sure to let them know how you will make the decision. Tell them you will begin promptly and expect them to arrive on time (and actually do it).

Close by letting them know that you look forward to hearing their perspective, which will help set the expectation for open, honest conversation.

Facilitate

We know people are reluctant to say what they really think in groups, and in front of leadership, so how can you facilitate this conversation in a way that people will feel encouraged to speak their truths, uncovering your brain trust’s best ideas, honest insights, and useful feedback?

Before you speak, set your intent for how you will act in what may be an uncomfortable conversation. Your intent will drive your demeanor. For example: “I will be sincere and inquisitive so I can get their honest perspectives.” If you’re the kind of person who instinctively reacts, you may want to write it down and keep it in view. Nothing will shut down open discussion more quickly than the leader rebutting ideas from the group.

Open with gratitude, expectations, and objectives. Thank everyone and ask them to put away laptops, phones, and pens. Tell them this is a conversation that requires they be fully present.

Take five minutes to talk them through the issue preparation document, then pass out a copy after you’re finished. Get people focused on the issue, not a piece of paper. Stress item #2, why this issue is significant.

When discussing the last item, what help you want from the group, reiterate that you invited them here to influence your thinking, and therefore the decision or outcome. This is vital to getting full participation. Tell them you want to know what they’re seeing that is different from what you’re seeing.

With sincerity, ask for their help preventing the future described in item #2, what’s at stake if nothing changes. (This will help prevent daydreaming and texting under the table).

Set a timer and take questions for 15 minutes. If you take more time than this, some of the people brimming with ideas may lose steam. Also, endless questions may be a strategy for delaying having to tell you what they really think.

Some participants may feel they never have enough information and are still asking questions, to which you can simply say, “Let’s move from questions to answers. What are your thoughts on the topic?”

Now, your job is to shut up and listen, perhaps the hardest part.

You’ll want to defend, explain, and tamp down direct or perceived criticism of your proposed solution, past decisions, or leadership. How you act at this point will determine the quality of the information you receive.

Ask for pushback, perspectives, and problems.

Here’s some language you can use, from Susan Scott, creator of this process: “I shared what I feel is the right way to go, the right course of action, and I suspect that some of you may see it differently. If you do, I’d like to hear it. I know my enthusiasm may make it hard to challenge me, but my job is to make the best possible decision for the organization, not to persuade you of my viewpoint.”

At the Sundance Film Festival, founder Robert Redford begins meetings by saying, “I am inviting you to influence me. I want to be different when this meeting is over.”

Not everyone will want to speak. If they haven’t, ask them directly. (“Jen, we haven’t heard from you yet. What do you think?”) If you sense that someone is scared to speak up, don’t let anyone off the hook.

If someone says, “I don’t know,” push back with, “What would you add if you did have something to add?”

Monitor your tone and demeanor throughout. Be sincere and inquisitive. Resist the temptation to defend your idea or past performance. In the moments you feel your body reacting, refocus on your intent.

If you hear yourself knee-jerk reacting with phrases like, “I hear you Ben, but…” what everyone in the room will hear is: “Fooled you! I don’t really want your ideas and actually don’t care what you think.”

Instead, simply say, “OK, Tell me more.”

Wrapping Up

After you have heard from everyone, ask everyone to write down what they would do if they were in your position. Ask for no side talking. When done, go around the room and ask everyone to read what they wrote.

After each, all you say is “thank you.” (And enjoy the brief moment of them having to be in your shoes, taking a stand, acting, deciding. They have just gained some perspective on the pressures you are under.)

Close by summarizing, “This is what I heard you say…” They will appreciate being heard. And, “Did I miss anything?”

Have them put their names on their papers before giving them to you, so you can follow up if needed.

Thank them for their time and intelligence. End with gratitude.

Following up

Once you have made your decision, let them know what it is.

Don’t wait

The cost of putting off big decisions is that everyone loses. Use this process to collect the best information you can to inform a big decision.