Sit with your discomfort

In our workshops, we have to help some people distinguish between being unsafe and uncomfortable.

There’s a difference between being threatened or psychologically attacked and simply being given constructive criticism or critical feedback. When we talk about this, we do exercises to give and receive honest feedback, to express our needs in healthy ways.

Discomfort is rarely seen as acceptable. Often, in our bias toward action, we project discomfort as an external problem that can be solved. Consequently, if we haven’t experienced much discomfort before, we might not recognize it or know that, like all emotions, it will pass. In doing so, we can magnify the discomfort and mistake it for a lack of safety.

This is problematic for many reasons, foremost that there are people in every workplace who experience a true lack of safety due to trauma, bias, marginalization, or disenfranchisement.

Also, when people in a dominant position feel uncomfortable, it can lead to bad outcomes for people with less power.

Don't shy away from what’s hard because of the way it makes you feel. You can express your feelings and needs and become resilient.

No matter who you are, becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable will make you more tolerant, stronger, and present.