Setting boundaries with personal power, not force
You’ve heard me say it before: you get what you tolerate. Setting boundaries around how you’ll be spoken to and treated is not only good for your relationships, but your health.
The trouble is agressive people can fly off the handle if you say something like, “Don’t talk to me like that!”
It’s far more effective to stay grounded and firm in your personal power.
Your power will be better understood with cooly-delivered phrases like these. Note the use of “we” or “let’s,” rather than “you.”
I would appreciate if you could use a more respectful tone.
Could you please be more mindful of your words when speaking to me?
It's important to me that we communicate in a respectful manner.
I prefer constructive and polite communication. Can we try to maintain that?
I'm open to discussion, but let's keep our language civil and courteous.
Please refrain from speaking to me in such a manner.
Let's maintain a respectful dialogue, even if we disagree.
I value respectful communication, so let's try to keep our conversation polite.
Can we approach this conversation with kindness and understanding?
It would be helpful if we could maintain a positive and respectful tone in our conversation
Aggressive people often fear their own personal power being taken away. When grounded and focused on mutual objectives, you don’t let the other person push you into silence or violence, you project your personal power. This is different than saying it in a way they could perceive as ordering them around, boxing them in, or taking away their personal power.
This is power vs. force.
