How to not let words upset you

Let’s face it, people are difficult. They can be self-absorbed, insensitive, or just plain rude, and we end up spending cycles of our precious mental energy trying to understand what they’re up to, why they really want, or how to get them to behave in ways we would prefer.

But, when you’re in the heat of a difficult conversation, you don’t need to understand someone else’s mind, or their intent, or their hidden agendas.

All you really need is to understand is your own. This will help you remain balanced.

Balance is having both awareness and acceptance of your emotions.

Awareness is recognizing your emotional reaction to the situation.

Acceptance is not pushing or clinging to those emotions.

The sky knows it’s not the clouds. The sky is the sky. It knows it can sit back and watch the clouds pass on by.

Your thoughts and emotions are just like the clouds, and you are the sky.

If you can remember this, even the most difficult conversation becomes easier in the moment.

Of course this is a skill you have to train for, before you need it.

Here’s a simple way to do this, in any situation.

Ask: what does my mind think of all this?

I’m not suggesting you ask yourself what you think (the clouds) but to observe those thoughts and ask what your mind (the sky) thinks about those thoughts.

Get in the habbit of becoming a silent observer of your thoughts,, and over time you can gain the perspective to recognize when you’re out of balance in your next difficult conversation.