How to be honest

Sure there are times you’ll let a comment slide, but there are also times you know you should say something. Here’s how you can be honest without coming off as weak or a jerk.

At the Confident Communicator, we follow the Me > You > Us process, meaning first we pause to prepare, then we check in on the other person, then we find a mutual objective.

We always start by setting our intent because when our intent is to help or connect, our body language and tone will become less harsh.

Check-in with yourself. What do you feel and need at this moment? If you’re upset or not centered, you’ll have less control over your message.

Just breathe.

Now you’re ready to speak…

“Well, she’s an idiot.”

[After pausing and getting centered] “John, can I tell you how that landed with me?”

“Uhhh. OK.”

“When you call her an idiot, I get frustrated because I respect her. Can you be more thoughtful when describing what you don’t like about her?”

See what we did there? We avoided judgmental tone or language when explaining the impact of the other person’s behavior, then finished with a clear request.

This last part, the clear request, is important because it lets the other person know what you expect of them.