Get someone else's meeting back on track

If you’re part of an organization, then you have certainly been involved in your share of unproductive, circular, pointless meetings, or meetings where someone hijacks the conversation. Here’s how you can get someone else’s meeting back on track, even if you’re a junior person or new to the group, without power granted to you by others.

Strong leaders create clarity about why they’re bringing a group of people together, defining meeting objectives (not just agenda) in advance. Confident speakers apply this same thinking to their speech, knowing the objective before they open their mouths. When clarity doesn’t exist, either for the group or the individual, that’s when meetings waste our time.

I went to one, and only one, HOA meeting in my neighborhood. There was an agenda, but it quickly flew out the window, along with people’s respect for each other. The meeting started with a man bringing up his frustration with dog owners not cleaning up after their pets. And around and around people went, adding their gripes on top of a big pile.

In the middle of the “bitchfest,” I spoke up, respectfully addressing the first man who started complaining.

“Excuse me, sir, you started this conversation. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Can you tell me, when you brought up the issue with the dog poop, what response you were expecting from the group?”

“What do you mean? I just thought it was an important issue.”

“Yes, I agree, it’s very important, but it’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what response you wanted from the group when you brought it up.

He thought for a while and said, “I’m not sure what I wanted.”

“Well, can I ask what response you would like from the group?”

After thinking some more, he said, “I’d like us to enforce our clean up after your pet policy.”

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg says, “Conversations often drag on and on, fulfilling no one’s needs, because it’s unclear whether the initiator of the conversation has gotten what she or he wanted.”

You don’t need to be the leader of the discussion to bring this consciousness to the group, and you also can do it in a way that doesn’t make you sound uptight or judgmental.