Every conversation is 1 of 2 things

We have all been in conversations or meetings where time was used in ways we appreciated, moving the conversation forward on a policy, product, or strategy; creating a sense of camaraderie; or deepening a relationship.

We have also been in many conversations and meetings where time wasn’t being used in ways that we liked, such as listening to people talk in order to try and figure out what they want to say, or when a conversation veers off track to the point where we no longer want to be engaged.

In these situations, it can help to consider the needs being expressed behind the words.

People are forever and continually attempting to get their needs met, so it’s helpful to operate out of the view that when people speak, it’s either to make a request of some sort, or to express gratitude for some need that has been met.

They’re either saying “please” or “thank you.”

If you think they’re saying “please,” interrupting becomes much easier. Most people aren’t taught how to make clear requests, so you may better be able to help.

If you think they’re saying “thank you,” just knowing they’re trying to express gratitude will help you be less frustrated with them for using time in ways you may not like. You may even come to see their words as helping build group cohesion and individual satisfaction.