Dialogue or debate?

I hear people using the terms dialogue and debate interchangeably.

They’re not the same.

In a dialogue, you:

• Work collaboratively toward a common understanding of the issue, even if you don’t reach an agreement

• Identify areas of common ground

• Listen carefully to understand one another

• Enlarge your understanding

• Unpack assumptions so you can check incorrect understandings of one another

• Potentially change your mind about something

• Begin from a place of mutual respect and concern

In a debate, you:

• Engage in a competition to prove the accuracy and superiority of your position

• Want to “win” the debate, such as with an acknowledgment or conclusion that your position is better

• Listen carefully to find flaws in the other’s argument and give counterarguments

• Affirm your own pre-existing understanding or position

• Focus on undermining the opposing idea rather than the relationship with that person

Having a dialog can preserve relationships and problem-solve, whereas debate can create resentment and more conflict.