Coercion vs. influence
There’s a big difference between forcing someone to do something and motivating them to do it willingly. That difference? Coercion vs. Influence.
Coercion (Power Over) is using threats, authority, guilt, or pressure to get someone to comply. It creates resistance, resentment, and compliance without commitment.
Threats: “If you don’t finish this report by noon, you can forget about that promotion.”
Guilt: “After everything I’ve done for you, you’re really going to say no?”
Authority Pressure: “I disagree with this policy change too, but they’re making us do it.”
Influencing with psychology means using understanding, mutual objectives, and human nature to shape behavior. Helping others see what’s in it for them fosters cooperation, motivation, and lasting engagement.
Appealing to Purpose: “This report will help us make better decisions—can you take the lead?”
Building Trust: “I value your perspective. What’s your take on the best way to handle this?”
Encouraging Ownership: “You’ve got the skills for this. How do you think we should proceed?”
If you want people to buy in instead of just obey, it helps to understand their personality type. Here are some DiSC-based examples:
D Style (Dominance – Direct, Results-Driven) → Give them control: “This is a high-impact project. How do you want to run with it?”
i Style (Influence – Social, Enthusiastic) → Make it exciting and collaborative: “Your energy would really help rally the team around this. Let’s brainstorm together!”
S Style (Steady – Supportive, Reliable) → Show appreciation and emphasize teamwork: “We’re counting on you. Your consistency keeps everything running smoothly.”
C Style (Conscientious – Detail-Oriented, Analytical) → Give them data and logic: “Your expertise is key here. I’d love your take on the best approach.”
Want real commitment? Don’t use “power over,” use “power with.”
