Be your own safe space with self-empathy

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

We often get irritated, offended, or even triggered, when interacting with others. These days, it seems to happen more so than ever before.

The stimulus can come from something they say, or something we do. 

What many don’t want to hear is that we have choice, not in how we feel, but in what we do with that emotional reaction. 

And in the moment, you can choose self-empathy.

For example, I was recently joking with a coworker who shares a dark sense of humor.

Another young coworker overheard us, and in a huff, said she was really uncomfortable with some of the things we were saying. 

I immediately felt de-energized and was thinking...Ooh, that was embarrassing...wait, she sure is a sensitive Millennial...I hope she doesn’t spread rumors about me...on and on and on... 

So rather than react, I gave myself some self-empathy, permission to feel all the things I was feeling. 

You’re feeling embarrassed, and probably annoyed, right now, Dan, and that’s OK. It’s probably because you are needing the freedom to be yourself, and also companionship.

By identifying my feelings and needs, I established a connection with myself that allowed me to respond in the way I wanted.