I was trying too hard to look good

I had just joined a new team, and in our first meeting, I inadvertently put someone on the defensive. Here’s how I recovered. 

It was a content marketing meeting, and the director brought a first draft of a data dashboard for feedback. Having once been a certified Google Analytics expert, I of course launched into all the things she could and should do. 

I wasn’t being a jerk, and gave some well-informed suggestions, but they were not well-received.

Later, I found out that the director was not a data person and my suggestions put her on the defensive. The group felt uncomfortable.

Looking back, I recall saying something like, “I don’t even see bounce rates on here. If I were you, I would definitely…”

I had made it about me, not the group’s needs. 

It would have been easy for me to shrug off the director’s defensiveness as her problem, or say to myself some version of: “Hey, I was just trying to help.” Or, “If they don’t want my help, they can go...”

But that would have been missing the point. 

Maya Angelou has famously said that “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

A better way to handle this could have been to mention my past experience and offer to help offline. Or pose a question that gets the group discussing.

So, I did some “cleanup on aisle 9” and apologized to the director after the meeting and told her I was working on this part of my communication skills.

That honest apology went along way, and now we have a better working relationship. 

Next time I won’t be so eager to impress a new group, and instead will consider other people’s feelings and needs before “helping.”