Avoid double messages
Double messages are when you say two contradictory things at once. Like kicking a dog you’re petting.
A father says to his son: “Sure go to the party. Have fun. By the way, I talked to your teacher who said you’ve been goofing off in class.”
What’s the son to take away from this contradiction?
One message undercuts the other and the son is unclear about the father’s real position.
The most psychologically damaging double messages are the ones that say “Come close, go away.” Or worse “I love you, I hate you.”
“I want to take you, I do. I’ll be lonely without you. But I just don’t think the convention will be much fun for you. You’ll be bored to tears.”
How would you feel about a person who said this to you?
