Are you unconsciously influencing the other person to feel the way you do?

When a co-worker says something we don’t like, particularly if they have power over us, we may feel psychologically unsafe.

When people don’t feel safe, unless they’re grounded and confident, usually go to silence or violence.

“John is so difficult to work with.”

[With a judgmental tone] “What are you talking about?”

This response may put the other person on the defensive, moving them into silence or violence, where you probably already are if you reacted like this.

Be aware that during communication, humans often unconsciously influence the other person to feel like they do.

Here’s another approach, to help keep you both in conversation…

“John is so difficult to work with.”

[With a non-judgmental tone] “That’s not my experience of him. What makes you say that?”