Another way to respond, not react

Confident Communicators pause before speaking. We get centered, grounded, self-aware, so we can respond and not react.

After all, you are your responses, not your reactions.

But…how can we remember to pause when we’re habitually reacting instead of responding the way we chose?

Just as a wrestler trains before stepping onto the mat, we need to do the same.

The all-important skill of self-awareness is the ability to observe your thoughts and emotions from a scientist's or detective’s perspective, rather than be affected and influenced by them.

I’ve shared some meditations for communicators, including asking the question “what is happening right now?” as a way to develop this skill “off the mat.”

But, meditation isn’t for everyone.

So here’s an exercise you can use to clear your mind, to get grounded enough to listen. It will help develop the skill of pausing in the moment.

It’s very simple.

Just sit quietly, take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself: I wonder what my next thought is going to be?

And just wait for it.

That’s it.

Don’t try to control anything, or focus on your breathing, or anything except wondering what your next thought is going to be.

Try it right now.

Go ahead.

I’ll wait.

How long did it take to have the next thought?

In that time of silence, you were calming and clearing your “monkey mind.”

It’s what being present feels like.

Practicing the skill of getting grounded like this helps you respond and not react.

Try it before your next important conversation and let me know how it goes.