3 kinds of communication awareness

Jun 9

In any conversation, especially difficult ones, all decisions and actions are informed by what we are aware of. We can expand awareness, by placing our attention on ourselves, the other person, and the situation. Here are three things to pay attention to during conversations, from Messages, by Dr. Matthew McKay.

Attention on yourself is self-awareness

The only way to be fully present in a conversation is to apply your attention inward: What are you observing, thinking, feeling, and wanting or needing?

Is your stated purpose the same as your real purpose?

What are you afraid of saying?

Self-awareness, applying your attention to yourself, will help you get grounded and speak from a place of self-confidence.

Attention on others is empathy

But, if you are consumed with self-analysis, or clouded by ego, you won’t be able to empathize.

So, after checking in with yourself, let’s do some audience analysis and apply our attention to the other person.

Are they able to listen at this moment?

What are they feeling and needing?

For example, your friend just lost her job, so now is probably not a good time to complain about your low salary.

Attention on surroundings & context is situational awareness

Finally, let’s apply our attention to the surroundings, and how the environment or context may impact the conversation.

Maybe you have something important to say to a colleague, but you’re in the breakroom with other employees, so rather than sanitize your comments for public consumption, it would be better to find a private place to talk.

What is awareness?

The word “awareness” has two meanings (knowledge and interest):

Knowledge or perception of a situation or fact, and
Concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development.

To communicate confidently, even in challenging conversations, we need to be able to remain aware of ourselves, the other person, and the situation, as it happens.