When you suspect someone will react negatively, try this

Here’s a tip for when you suspect someone will react negatively to what you have to say.

Try pre-framing, followed by justification.

Pre-framing is a technique used to get someone to see a situation from a specific viewpoint by giving them a subtle, influential, heads-up before you deliver the details.

• There is negative pre-framing: “This next move tough. You’re going to have a hard time with it unless you...”

• And positive pre-framing: “I’m going to challenge your skill with this next move….and you’re going to love it!”

Justification is when you clarify why you’re saying something by baking the reason into your comment, as in: “I’m looking for a new pair of sunglasses. Where did you get yours?”

Here are some examples of this one-two punch, pre-framing plus justification:

• I know we’re not supposed to talk to strangers on the subway, but I’m curious where you got those sunglasses. I’ve lost mine and am looking for a new pair.

• I know it’s rude to ask people about what they earn, but I’m wondering if you can share a typical salary range for someone in your position. I’m starting to think I’m underpaid.

• I know some consider it pushy to ask for an introduction, but I’m looking for a new job. Do you think you could introduce me to so-and-so?

This “pre-framing” followed by a justification signals that you’re a safe person to talk to and that you have a legitimate reason for asking.

Here’s the basic formula:

I know it’s...but I’m wondering if...I’m asking because I...