When it’s your boss’s fault

Advanced tip! Here’s a tough situation. Your boss, client, or someone with power over you is at fault and somehow it’s reflecting poorly on you.

Often, we’re tempted to say nothing, or to blow up with some version of “but you never did your part!”

Yes, there are times to let it slide, and there are toxic people to separate yourself from, and yes, some bosses are punitive, so tread carefully.

But it’s also true that most of the times my coaching clients have set boundaries with their bosses, or others with power over them, they gained respect and curtailed bad behavior.

Kim Scott, author of Fierce Conversations offers a great formula for confronting people:

• Name the issue

• Cite a specific example

• Describe your emotions about the example

• Clarify what’s at stake

• Identify your contribution to the problem

• Indicate your wish to resolve the issue

• Invite your partner to respond

Test the waters first. If they’re not open to direct feedback, find another time (or another boss).

It might sound like this: “Boss, I want to talk to you about the project’s delay. We’re not going to make the deadline. I have to admit that I’m frustrated because I reminded you three times that we needed your approval by last Thursday. I know you’re busy, and I could have pushed harder, but this could have been avoided. I would appreciate it if you told the client the reason for the delay, and not put it on me. What do you think?”

Tough? Yes. Risky? Yep. That’s why we practice in our workshops. Find someone you trust to role-play before the real thing.