What’s most important?

I have 3 teenagers. They’re testy. They react. They judge. They don’t think before they speak.

Just this morning, I had a question for my 14-year-old son a question. I said, “Hey son…” then promptly lost my train of thought.

“What!?!?!?” He shouted. Impatient.

“Umm…”

“Ugh! You always do this!”

“Oh yea, what time do you want to go to the gym tonight? I can give you a ride.”

“Duh!! It’s always 7 PM.”

So I took a breath and felt my frustration. Then I thought about what I needed.

This gave me the space to think before I reacted.

I decided I was needing respect in that moment, and to contribute to his growth.

“Son, please look at me. Are you angry or just frustrated?”

“You always do this!!! Like 90% of the time, it’s 7 PM!!! Gawd!”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked what you’re feeling right now?

I wanted him to understand that whatever is going on inside you, is always, always, always, more important than whatever’s going on outside you.

I could not have done this without stopping the cycle of action-reaction within myself, then asking him to do the same.