The shite sandwich

What do I think is the most important leadership communication skill? Without a doubt, it’s the ability to give feedback in a way that’s appreciated.

Most of the new leaders I work with simply avoid telling other people to change their behavior. Many seasoned leaders I know are terrible at it, and sometimes upset people with their clumsy approaches.

I am here to say this is not because people are too sensitive.

It’s because we do it wrong.

Usually, when we give feedback, we start with praise, then deliver the criticism, then finish with praise.

Yes, people see this coming a mile away...because it’s a shite sandwich and they’re not kindergarteners.

There’s a better way

In our Confident Communication Workshop, we teach and practice all the preparation, execution, and follow-up that goes into giving good feedback -- so it's appreciated and helps people grow -- but here’s a formula you can try instead of the shite sandwich:

When you ______, I feel _______, because I need ______. Would you please _____?

There’s more to it, of course, but this is the framework.

Here’s a post on not making feedback a big deal, one on asking for feedback before giving it, and powerful requests.

If you want to get good at this, check out our Confident Communicator Workshop.