The empowerment triangle

The previous 2 Minute Tip described the Drama Triangle, with the three roles of Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer. Today, let’s talk about how to escape, using the Empowerment Triangle.

When we stop reacting, and choose to respond (by being present), we can lead a conversation with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. When this shift happens, you break the cycle and each of the roles can transform.

Persecutors Become Challengers

When the Villain stops blaming and becomes the Challenger, they bring healthy, positive pressure to inspire and motivate.

Villains blame, and defend their beliefs, judging themselves and others, and want to change the past. Challengers provide positive pressure, take responsibility, question beliefs and thoughts, and facilitate action. They dare to be uncomfortable and use their frustrations to clarify and motivate. 

Victims Become Creators

Victims focus on what they don’t want – the person, condition, or circumstance they consider to be their Persecutor. This mindset drives the fight, flee, or freeze reactions

Creators, however, focus on what they do want. Creators still face and solve problems, but their focus remains fixed on the vision, not the problem.

Where Victims respond with what happened “to me,” Creators respond from what’s happened “through me.” The Creator leans on authenticity, learning, collaboration, and selflessness.

Rescuers Become Coaches

Rescuers take over and fix. Coaches guide and encourage. When a Rescuer becomes a Coach, they leave the power with the Creator. They help Creators see new possibilities and facilitate personal development. 

Coaches know everyone as naturally creative, resourceful, and whole, and the agents of their own lives. 

We all fall into the Drama Triangle. It’s human nature to defend against perceived threats. Only by being present can we be conscious enough to break the cycle and shift into the Empowerment Triangle. 

Save the drama for your mama.