The drama triangle

First described by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s, the Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interactions that illustrates how power games work.

There are three roles: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor.

Important note: The Victim role isn’t meant to describe someone who actually is powerless, being manipulated, or abused, but rather someone feeling or acting as if they are when they are not. 

Each role represents a common and ineffective response to conflict.

Tyronne: Janet, the Status Report is due today. Please send it over ASAP. (Persecutor)

Janet: Ooops! I haven’t done it yet, I wasn’t sure what was required, and I have been overwhelmed with other stuff. (Victim)

Tyronne: Both the request and template were sent to you last week. If you weren’t sure, why didn’t you ask? (Persecutor) 

Janet: I was overwhelmed and didn’t have the capacity. (Victim) 

Tyronne: Well it’s due this afternoon. Can you pull it together quickly? (Prosecutor) 

Kate: Mark, we’ll get it to you. What information do you need, specifically? (Rescuer) 

Tyronne: The standard report…highlights, milestones, risks… (Rescuer)

Kate: Can you just tweak the information on the last report? (Prosecutor) 

Tyronne: Do you know how many updates I have to deal with? (Victim) 

Janet: Honestly, I think the status report is an overkill! (Prosecutor) 

Kate: Never mind, give me half an hour. I’ll do it and send it over. (Rescuer)  

And around and around we go, shifting roles, playing Prosecutor, Victim, or Rescuer, sometimes all three in a single conversation. 

Now that you’re aware of the Drama Triangle, and how we are all constantly shifting roles, do you see it operating all around you?

The next 2 Minute Tip will discuss how to escape the Drama Triangle.