The 3 levels of apologies

Understanding different levels of apologies can help us navigate mistakes and rebuild relationships.

Level 1: Apologizing for a Mistake

At the most basic level, an apology should focus on the specific error you made. This type of apology directly acknowledges what you did wrong and outlines steps to correct it.

“I’m sorry I missed the deadline. Here’s what I’m doing to prevent this from happening again.”

This is about accountability for your actions without delving into deeper emotional or relational aspects.

Level 2: Apologizing for The Impact

The second level goes beyond the action and recognizes the emotional impact your behavior had on others. It’s about empathy and acknowledging how your mistake affected their experience.

To the apology above, you might add: “I realize this put extra pressure on you, and I’m sorry for the frustration I caused.”

This type of apology shows you understand their feelings and are not just focused on the mistake itself.

Level 3: Apologizing to Restore the Relationship

At the highest level, an apology aims to rebuild trust and strengthen the relationship. This kind of apology looks beyond the mistake and addresses the potential damage done to the connection between you and the other person.

“I value our relationship, and I understand how this affected your trust in me. Let’s discuss how we can work together better going forward.”

This approach seeks not only to resolve the issue but also to heal the relationship.

Each level builds upon the previous one, offering a deeper understanding and resolution.