A question for complainers
What is a complaint but an expression of needs? The trouble is that most of the time, we don’t know what needs are actually being expressed by the complainer. Sometimes the complainer doesn’t even know.
The next time someone complains to you, you can uncover their true needs with some version of the couple's question, “Do you want comfort or solutions?”
"Would you prefer to talk it out, or are you looking for suggestions?"
"Would you like me to just listen, or are you looking for some ideas on how to address it?"
"I’m here if you want to vent, or I’m happy to brainstorm solutions if that would help."
"Do you need a sounding board right now, or are you looking for advice on how to handle it?"
Maybe they just need to vent to feel better. Maybe they need a sounding board. Maybe they need to be told what to do.
Most people don’t even know how to express their actual needs. Help them out.
