Shed your shell

A lobster’s hard shell doesn’t expand, so when they get too big, they have to hide under a rock, shed their old shell, and grow a new one.

Without their protection, they’re vulnerable and exposed. Not unlike how people feel in difficult conversations—raw, uncertain, open to criticism.

Molting is painful, but without this temporary discomfort, there is no growth.

If you want to get better at handling tough discussions—whether it’s giving feedback, addressing conflict, or setting boundaries—you have to have them.

There’s no shortcut to shedding your protective shell of avoidance and staying with discomfort long enough to grow.

Here are some strategies, from Crucial Conversations, a book I believe everyone should read.,

• Notice your emotions. Feeling defensive? Anxious? Acknowledge it instead of reacting impulsively.

• Reframe discomfort as growth. Just like molting, it feels vulnerable now, but it’s how you become stronger.

• Get curious instead of defensive. Instead of proving your point, ask: “Help me understand your perspective.”

• Hold steady. Awkward silences and emotional tension don’t mean failure. Breathe. Stay in the moment.

• Aim for progress, not perfection. Every tough conversation makes the next one easier.

Growth isn’t comfortable. But neither is staying small. 🦞