Replace “need to” with “can we”

In the Me > You > Us model, we keep the focus on mutual objectives. The next three 2-Minute Tips will suggest ways to keep the other person from getting defensive, so you can both remain in dialogue.

Replace “need to,” with “can we…”

“We need to talk” then becomes “Can we talk about…?”

“You need to listen” can become “Can we try to hear each other out?”

When you take away someone’s perception of their own autonomy, you’re limiting their choice.

Choice is what makes us human, and nobody likes to be told what to do.

“Can we” signals that the rules apply to both of us.