More conflict norms

Our 5 Behaviors of a Cohesive Team training says that the best teams not only have conflict but actually embrace it.

Conflict avoidance and mitigation create artificial harmony, and by contrast, teams that are comfortable with “creative conflict” will find that the best ideas emerge from debate. 

However, when we talk about conflict, we’re very specific about what this means. It doesn’t mean mean-spirited, back-stabbing conflict. 

It means disagreeing, and “getting into it” so the best ideas rise to the top…even if things get uncomfortable.

Such as?

The Daily Tip has covered conflict norms in the past. Here’s an example from one of our recent workshops.

EncouragedUnacceptable

• Active listening 

• Encouraging difficult conversations

• Being uncomfortable is OK 

• Give everyone the opportunity (and space) to contribute 

• Disagreement 

• Pausing before reacting

• Calling people in (“Dan, what do you think?”

• Assume good intent

• Valuing all ideas

• Not contributing

• Putting away devices

• Interrupting

• Calling out ("You're quiet" or using “you” to isolate)

• Multitasking 

• Holding opinions over someone 

• Personalizing

• Pushing buttons 

• Ignoring the difficult / sweeping under the rug 

• Holding a grudge 

• Passive-aggressive behavior 

• Attitude

• "Want to win" mentality (ego before solutions) 

• Holding back a good idea 

What are your team’s conflict norms?

In your work culture, is it ok if someone raises their voice when passionately arguing their ideas? Has your leadership (maybe that’s you) defined where the line is that shouldn’t be crossed? 

If you want to enable creative, respectful conflict in your culture, start by discussing what’s acceptable and unacceptable behavior, then make it OK – even encouraged – to disagree.