Judgments masquerading as questions

Because a good question opens space for exploration, it’s important to keep judgments from contaminating our questions. 

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?”

“Wouldn’t you be better off if you finished the project today?”

“Why can’t you just be nice and put up with him like everyone else?”

Such judgmental remarks can shut down dialogue, especially if they come rapid-fire. 

You’re not an expert on other people’s lives, but judgemental questions say that you know what’s best for someone else.

The alternative? Make specific, factual observations, such as:

“You look dazed. Are you OK?

“If you don’t stay late tonight to finish this, it will affect the rest of the team.”

“I think it would be more constructive if we told him how his behavior is affecting others.”

Don't try to pass off your judgments as questions.