Information, consequences & choice

In The 4 Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin shares great strategies to deal with naturally rebellious people.

With similarities to D Styles in the DiSC Model, “Rebels,” as she calls them, have a high need for control, autonomy, self-direction, avoiding weakness, influence, etc.

She gives a great strategy I’ve been trying out with some success.

When you want such a person to do something, don’t take away their personal power. Instead, give them information, consequences, and choice.

Here's how it works:

• Information: Instead of accusing someone with these tendencies of being irresponsible, present the facts clearly and objectively. You might say, "I've noticed that the past three project deadlines haven't been met, which has pushed back our overall timeline and created extra work for others."

• Consequences: Explain the potential impact of their actions on both the individual and the team. "When deadlines are missed, it can lead to client dissatisfaction, missed opportunities, and additional pressure on everyone involved." You could also highlight positive outcomes if they meet deadlines, such as increased recognition, smoother workflow, and a more positive team environment.

• Choice: Empower them to take ownership of the situation. "Ultimately, it's your decision how you approach these deadlines, but I want to make sure you're aware of the impact it has on the project and the team. I'm here to support you in any way I can."

By using this approach, you avoid placing blame or making demands, which could trigger defensiveness, especially in someone who might have a high need for autonomy. It respects their need for freedom and self-determination, empowering them to make informed choices rather than feeling controlled or obligated.