Imposed values

Just as speaking in absolutes, imposing limits and vague language can all alienate other people, so too can imposed values.

Imposed values take values that people find appropriate for themselves and apply them to others.

This way of speaking is evident in the use of words like “stupid,” “ugly,” or “greedy,” but also in any broad label.

“That’s a worthless piece of junk.”

“Millennials are terrible communicators.”

“Our leadership are idiots.”

When someone makes a generalization, they’re making a judgement based on their personal world model, and as we know, everyone brings their own identity, history, and perspective to interpreting the words we use.

Responding when someone imposes their values

It’s easy to be upset with people who impose their values on others, but gently challenging such statements can instead force the speaker to clarify or own their opinions and also acknowledge that the rest of the world has its own values and opinions.

“For who is it worthless?

“With whom are Millennials terrible communicators?”

“How are our leaders idiots?”

Exercise

To develop the skill of respectfully challenging imposed values language and thinking, formulate responses to these statements in the form of gentle questions.

Communism is evil: ____________________

Getting upset is the wrong thing to do:_________________

Running is the best exercise:_____________________

Politicians are fools: _________________