How to handle scary people
By scary people, I don’t mean Halloween witches, vampires, or zombies. I mean combative people, people who seem to get by on intimidation.
The key is to never lose your power. Your power comes from remaining grounded and not letting someone rattle you. When your emotions take over, you’ve lost.
(If you haven’t yet, read my posts about dealing with aggressors and passive aggressors.)
This post, however, is about remaining calm and confident.
In the heat of the moment, it’s hard to remember that you can always take a break.
If you’re feeling intimidated, it’s perfectly fine to take a time out. Just be sure to indicate you’re not ending the conversation.
Here’s some language you can use, so you can return firmly grounded in your power.
“I’m feeling intimidated right now and am going to take a short walk so I can finish this conversation constructively.”
“Your aggressive tone is scaring me. I want to finish the conversation but need some space. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Are you aware of your tone and posture?”
Notice how in each of these phrases you’re not blaming the other person for your emotions.
This technique gives the other person the space to reflect on their behavior while setting a boundary as to how you expect to be treated.
