How to call BS

You make a request. The other person curtly says, “OK,” but you can tell it’s not OK.

You say, “Are you sure?” 

“It’s Fine. Whatever.”

This is a dangerous place to be. The other person may be ignoring their own needs to meet yours, which could lead to resentment, or worse.

How do you get them to express their needs, to call them out, constructively?

According to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication, you could express your own feelings and needs in that moment:

“I’m feeling uneasy with your “OK. I wish I could trust what you’re saying, but I don’t. I’d like you to take a moment to think if it would really meet your needs to comply with my request.”

If they still don’t share with you their feelings and needs, you can guess:

“Are you feeling frustrated because you need more recognition on this project / need to rest / need more consideration / etc...?”

By guessing, even if you’re wrong, you’re signaling a genuine interest in what’s alive inside them.