How emotionally intelligent people communicate

All this week, the 2 Minute Tip focuses on how emotionally intelligent people communicate.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, use, understand, and manage emotions - yours and others. We’ve talked a lot about emotions before, and how we should use them to choose actions that get our needs met.

Emotionally intelligent people handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

In 9 Smart Habits of People with Very High Emotional Intelligence, author Bill Murphy shares simple phrases that people with high emotional intelligence learn to use reflexively, again and again.

The first one is “Let’s think about why.”

Asking why is powerful because it opens a door that reveals motivations and can help you separate emotion from the situation.

• Why are you working so hard on this one particular project?

• Why am I still working late nights and weekends, when my family would rather have me home?

• Why is the person in that car yelling at me?

• Why do I want this person to like me so much?

It can be uncomfortable, but people who challenge themselves to dig for the need behind the emotion are more likely to speak with empathy and perspective.

Here’s what you can do, right now, to develop this skill.

Today, continue to ask yourself “what do I feel and what do I need?” Or said another way, “why am I feeling this way?”