Face & body language in virtual meetings

Last week, the 2 Minute Tip covered body language basics, including paying attention to what doesn’t “feel right” to you, establishing a baseline, observing changes, looking for signals of freeze, flight, and fight, and self-soothing. This week, we will cover face & body language in virtual meetings.

While it’s true that communicating through videoconferencing technology like Zoom, Google Hangouts, FaceTime, GoToMeeting, etc. is more difficult than in person, the good news is that the face is the most expressive part of the body and there is a wealth of information to be gleaned by watching people closely through our screens.

I’ve heard it said that 80% of non-verbal communication happens above the shoulders.

Not only can we read body language in virtual meetings and calls, but we can also use body language awareness to project confidence, aptitude, connection, and other positive traits, even while on our devices.

Without ever having been taught, most of us can already quickly recognize when someone's face expresses surprise, interest, doubt, boredom, disappointment, exhaustion, contentment, anxiety, disbelief, concern, frustration, and so on.

Just observe children closely.

We also know that to a degree, we can control our facial expressions and, thus, put on a false front. (How many of our parents told us not to make a face at the food we didn’t like while a guest at someone’s house?)

We are adept at lying with our faces…but not totally.

There is real value in watching faces closely while on screen, which is why it’s often valuable to take the time to “hop on Zoom call” even if you don’t think there’s a need.

It’s another chance to understand someone and further your human connection with them.

When people tell me they can’t build relationships online, I tell them they’re not trying.

Just pay attention!

It’s easy to miss facial cues because we have been taught not to stare and because we often concentrate more on someone’s words, rather than what their body is revealing.

We teach participants in our Leadership Communications Program that when on group video calls, continually scan the faces in those little boxes when people start and stop talking, and also when they’re not talking. Over time, you will better learn who is thinking what.

Facial cues may be fleeting and difficult to pick up, so be ever vigilant. “Microgestures” or “microexpressions” may not seem to be of much significance, but even minor displays of tension may reflect the deep emotional conflict.

Microexpressions are facial expressions that occur within a fraction of a second, exposing a person's true emotions.

Positive emotions are there as well, revealed by loosening of the forehead furrow, relaxation of the mouth, exposure of the full lips (not compressed or tight-lipped), and widening of the eyes as surrounding muscles relax.

When we are truly relaxed and comfortable, facial muscles relax and the head tilts, exposing our most vulnerable area, the neck.

Nose flaring is an attempt to get more oxygen, needed to fight.

The opposite is true during times of stress. If you see someone’s jaw tightening, you can be fairly certain they’re not OK with whatever is going on.

Related facial expressions include nose flaring (to get more air), neck stiffening (no head tilt), eyes squinting, mouth quivering, or lips disappearing.

Watch for signs of comfort and discomfort. They’re there.

Tomorrow, the 2 Minute Tip will take a closer look at looking.