Confront your boss
28% of people quit their jobs because of bad managers, but I can tell you from working with organizations that employees don’t try very hard to “influence up” and are quick to quit.
The me > you > us approach can help, if you’re in this situation. Use it all day, every day, to help your boss understand where you’re coming from, to understand their limitations, and get both your needs met.
Here are some tactics to handle a difficult boss, from Gili Malinsky that I find helpful:
Ask, “How can we work best together?”
Ask your boss about top priorities, deadlines, and how they prefer to communicate. Understand his or her ongoing needs. Find a way to make their life easier, instead of the other way around. This can help reduce tension and even establish mutual purpose, creating a more positive working relationship.
Figure out where the tension is coming from
Are your boss’s requests unclear? Ask them to clarify. Is your boss failing to provide opportunities for advancement? Ask to take on, or contribute to projects they’re bogged down with. Difficult to find a time to meet or get their feedback? Ask how you can help them. They have stress too
Document it
Once you’ve figured out the challenges, start documenting them. Can you find a pattern? Or were there only a few instances? Once you know, share non-judgemental examples of how their behavior affects you, and make clear requests for how they can get more out of you. Just know their style and how they want to receive such requests.
Don’t be critical; acknowledge
Show authentic appreciation for the things they do that are working. Use words like “I appreciate” or “I’m grateful for.” Make it clear that you value them – this makes them more receptive to a discussion about what’s not working.
Assume they’re doing their best
Your manager probably isn’t starting every day thinking, “How can I make my employees’ lives miserable?” Assume they’re doing their best to get the job done. Maintaining this mindset can help ease tension.
If none of this works, try to get a sense of others’ experiences with your manager. If patterns are emerging, it may be time to take action as a group and find solutions that allow you (and others) to keep your job(s) and enjoy your workplace.
