Clouding

This week, the 2 Minute Tip is discussing ways to respond to criticism, especially criticism that feels like rejection. Yesterday, we covered the technique of acknowledging. Today, we’ll discuss “clouding,” which essentially is a partial agreement 

Clouding is a great technique for dealing with unconstructive or manipulative criticism which may have a grain of truth but is phrased as a put-down. 

You can also use it to dispense with criticism that you think is somewhat correct.

You can cloud by agreeing in part, in probability, or in principle. 

For example, your partner says: “You’re always working and don’t have time for me/us anymore!” 

You could respond with:

• Agreeing in part: “Yes, I do work a lot because I need to…”

• Agreeing in probability: “You’re probably right, but I’m trying to…”

• Agreeing in principle: “You’re right, but if I don’t work hard, I won’t…”

Clouding calms the critic and gets them out of the win/lose game, so you can remain in dialogue.

Tomorrow, we’ll discuss the technique of probing.