Build a vocabulary of emotions

In a recent 2 Minute Tip, Do you feel…or do you think? I talked about how we often use the word feel to actually express a thought, rather than a feeling or emotion. When we do this, we make it difficult for others to understand what we’re actually saying. 

If you say “I feel ignored,” your words may be interpreted as an accusation.

To communicate our feelings/emotions, it’s vital to build a vocabulary of emotions – something most of us were never taught in school or by our parents. 

A rich vocabulary of emotions helps others understand us, equipping them with the information they need to fulfill our needs. But more importantly, it helps us understand what’s going on inside ourselves so we can stay grounded and centered. 

So instead of saying, “I feel ignored,” try replacing “ignored” with a word that describes an actual emotion, like frustrated, anxious, devastated, resentful, discouraged, or upset. 

There are nuances here. Know thyself!

Here’s another example. Saying “I feel good about that” can mean so many different things. Are you excited, happy, relieved, or something else?

So learn the words that clearly articulate your feelings. Here’s a feelings inventory from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.