Body language basics
This and next week, the 2 Minute Tip is all about reading body language, which can tell you a lot more about a person’s thoughts than their words.
FBI interrogator Joe Navarro, author of What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People tells us that we use our bodies to communicate in two ways:
With our movements (such as with facial expressions or where we look, what we do with our hands, or where our feet point), and
With how much distance we put between ourselves and others (not much help with virtual meetings, but we’ll get to that.)
Start by paying attention to yourself
Let’s say you’re speaking with a salesperson, who is standing close to you. He has a big smile and firm handshake, but his eyes don’t meet yours. Something’s not right. Maybe he doesn’t want you to ask about the product’s guarantee.
If something doesn't feel right, it’s often because something’s not congruent.
Think of congruence as “appropriate for the circumstances.”
If you’re in a meeting, and someone has a great idea, but they slouch in their chair, arms crossed in protection, they’re communicating “Please ignore me, even if I don’t believe in my ideas.”
This is not congruent.
You can sense it. You’ll feel discomfort in your body. No need to overanalyze. Just be aware that something’s not right.
When something doesn’t feel right, when something doesn’t quite match up, that’s your signal to pay attention. (Remember Me > You > Us).
Tomorrow, the 2 Minute Tip will discuss what to pay attention to.
