Before delivering criticism
While leading Microsoft, Bill Gates often told people, “The reason you’re here is because you’re amazing.”
Then he would say something more difficult, like, “But, you’re not meeting expectations at the moment.”
Other versions of this I’ve heard are, “I expect a lot from you, and I’m disappointed,” or “I want you here because you’re fantastic, but I need to know I can rely on you.”
Two parts. Clarify the confidence you have in them, then ask them to change their behavior.
Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean being nice or touchy-feely. It means being aware of emotions.
The best communicators use their emotions to understand what’s happening inside themselves and inside the other person, then choose behaviors that influence better results.
