Are you patronizing?

We often think we’re being helpful when we’re actually not. How you deliver your message is as important as the message itself if you want to maintain good working relationships.

A simple example, if someone is distressed, and you say “all you need to do is…” or worse, “just calm down…” your words signal that you are minimizing their emotions or patronizing the person.

(What a great word “patronizing” is by the way: “apparently kind or helpful but betraying a feeling of superiority; condescending.”)

For example, “you just have to…” implies that the solution to their problem is obvious. But is it…to them?

“Just calm down” makes them self-conscious that a raw emotion has gripped them, serving only to amp them up more.

Instead, listen for their feelings and needs, with the Me > You > Us process.