4 stages of negotiation

This and next week, the Daily Tip will explore some fundamental communications strategies for successful negotiation. Let’s start with definitions. 

Negotiation is a process where people with different or even opposing desires can arrive at a fair agreement.

Negotiation is a skill that helps you get what you want from people without alienating them. 

Everyone negotiates, not just union officials, diplomats, and lawyers. When you hammer out a project’s deadlines, scope, and deliverables, you’re negotiating. When you hire someone to fix your roof, you’re negotiating. When you try to get your teenage daughter to clean her room, you’re negotiating. 

The best negotiators understand that even though both sides want to win, their best interests are served by generating multiple acceptable options. To get there, however, you have to go through the 4 stages of negotiation:

Preparation

Before you actually begin discussions, it’s important to determine what outcome you most want, what would be less satisfying but still acceptable, and what’s the worst deal you would accept. 

Discussion

Here’s where you and the other side describe the facts as you see them, how you feel about them, and articulate both your needs. Discussion is the means of resolving deadlocks. 

Proposal-counterproposal

One of you makes an offer or a request. Maybe there is a counteroffer. You discuss, take time-outs if needed, and repeat -- in the ballet of compromise.

Agreement/disagreement

Disagreement is a natural part of a negotiation, not a brick wall. While some negotiations do end without agreement, if you’re able to take disagreement as a signal to try again, both parties should be able to arrive at a mutually acceptable option. 

Tomorrow, we’ll discuss the 3 possible approaches and 4 rules to negotiation.

Adapted from Messages, The Communications Skills Book, by Dr. Matthew McKay.