3 ways to end an argument productively

Apr 8

“Begin with the end in mind,” is one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. So, what are the possible endings of a disagreement?

Sure, an argument can lead to silence or violence, effectively ending dialogue, but Confident Communicators do what we can to remain in dialogue. If your intent is to find mutual objectives, then there really are only three possible endings to a disagreement: agreement, counter proposal, or mutual postponement.

Agreement

Some fights end with a simple agreement. You state your case and propose a change. The other person agrees. Or vice-versa. Yay.

Counter Proposal

If your counterpart rejects your initial proposal, ask them what they suggest. Or vice-versa. Take it from there.

Mutual Postponement

Many issues can’t be resolved quickly, so postponement is often the only reasonable outcome.

Round one of a fair fight can simply end with the promise to fight fairly again later. The key is to agree on a time and place to take up the issue again.

Know before you go

Most of the time, bringing up a thorny issue actually helps you move on, and stop wasting energy carrying it around. Conflict isn’t bad. It’s inevitable. Take the sting out by knowing your acceptable outcomes before you put on your gloves.