Words to lose
Here are three categories of words that make you appear less confident.
Fillers
Fillers are useless words such as: um, like, stuff, so, whatever, right? Fillers do serve a function, allowing us to pause and think of what to say, but they also make us sound weak, unclear, and nervous.
Breathe before you speak, and remind yourself to pause if you need to think. Instead of saying “thing” just pause and think of what that would be. Don’t be afraid of the quiet lulls.
If this doesn’t work, you can tap your leg every time you use a filler word. You’ll soon break the habit.
Weasel words
Weasel words undermine or contradict the meaning of words they modify. They mislead or misinform, and make you seem less confident.
Examples include: “Allegedly,” “reportedly,” and even “help” as in “help prevent cavities.”
Hedges
Verbal hedges are phrases we use when we don’t want to come on too strong.
I think…
Let me ask a quick question…
I just wanted to circle back…
Just sayin’
Correct me if I’m wrong…
Just thinking off the top of my head…
My two cents…
Hedges can also be single-word descriptors like pretty, lucky, maybe, almost, somewhat, etc.
We use hedges to soften the blow of a strong opinion, but if overused, they become self-put-downs, indicating we are not confident in our ideas.
You can still say “I respectfully disagree” rather than, "I would argue that to some extent ..."
But how do I know?
You may not be aware of your fillers, weasels, and hedges. To hear how others hear you, use your phone to record yourself during your next meeting, then practice the power of the pause.
