The essence of a request

What’s even more important than the content of a request?

The essence of a request is the intent behind it.

Think of it this way. Before making a request of someone, just ask yourself if you’re willing to hear “no.”

If you’re unwilling to hear “no,” then you’re not making a request. You’re making a demand.

And it will be received that way.

How to clarify your intent

You can set the right intent by asking not just what you want the other person to do, but why you want them to do it.

For example, do you want someone to take on a new project because they “have to” or because they understand how their work is meaningful and contributes to the team or organization?

If your “why” is also in their best interest, they’ll be much more likely to comply, not because they have to, but because they want to.